Listening and the Quiet Power of Feeling Heard

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
— Maya Angelou

This quote has echoed through my thoughts ever since our recent Business Planning Day. It was beautifully brought to life by speaker Nicki Perfect, a former hostage negotiator turned communication coach. Her talk wasn’t just compelling - it landed in the heart.

Nicki shared her story of listening - really listening, in the most high-stakes situations imaginable. She spoke about empathy, connection, and the power of presence. And while I don’t deal with hostage negotiations in my day-to-day work (thank goodness!), her words couldn’t have resonated more deeply with my own journey in sewing, teaching, and reimagining fashion for the future in my MA work.

Because whether I’m running a pattern-cutting masterclass, teaching someone how to thread an overlocker without fear, or working with others to co-create a regenerative textile system - it’s not just about what I say or even what I do. It’s about how I make people feel. And that’s something I’ve learned to hold close in everything I do at The Cloth Cutter.

The Quiet Power of Feeling Heard

Nicki spoke about how most of us listen and react, instead of listening, understanding and responding. We often wait for a gap to jump in with advice, stories, or opinions. But truly effective communication comes from something quieter - holding space without rushing to fill it. Making someone feel seen, valued, and safe enough to share.

That’s exactly what I try to create in my sewing workshops and courses. When someone walks into the studio, often clutching their fabric nervously, unsure about their skills, I’m not just teaching them how to make a dress or fit a pair of trousers. I’m helping them feel capable. Helping them trust themselves. Giving them space to grow.

So often, my students say things like:

• “I’ve never felt comfortable in a sewing class until now.”

• “You make me feel like I can actually do this.”

• “I always felt like I wasn’t a ‘proper’ dressmaker until I came here.”
  
  

And it’s not because I’ve dazzled them with knowledge (although, yes, there are over 30 years of teaching and pattern cutting experience under my belt!). It’s because they felt something - supported, empowered, gently challenged, and never judged.

Listening as a Radical Act in Fashion

In my MA in Sustainable Fashion, I’m exploring what it might look like to completely re-imagine our relationship with clothes. Not just in terms of materials and making, but through systems of care, connection, and cooperation.

One thread running through my research is the idea of a clothing cooperative that brings together growers, processors, designers, and makers. It’s an interconnected model that honours every stage of the textile journey - from soil to seam, and beyond -  and values every voice in that system.

And once again, Nicki’s message hits home here too. Because if we’re to create something truly sustainable and regenerative, it can’t be top-down. It can’t just be about what’s said in marketing meetings or design studios. It has to come from listening, to the growers who understand the rhythms of farming flax and sheep; to the dyers who know which natural colours hold fast and stay true; to the community who’ll wear these clothes and tell their own stories in them.

This kind of listening is a quiet revolution. It requires slowing down. Being curious. Leaving space for others to step in.

And if Maya Angelou reminds us of anything, it’s that the impact we leave behind doesn’t live in outcomes or outputs - but in feelings. The feeling of being truly seen, heard, and valued is what builds trust. That’s the ground sustainable, regenerative systems are built on.

From Pattern Cutting to Pattern Making for Change

Pattern cutting, on the surface, might seem like a highly technical skill - precise, mathematical, maybe a little mysterious to the uninitiated. My husband even calls it alchemy!  But in my experience, it’s also profoundly creative. It’s where possibility lives. It’s a way of shaping form, function, and identity.

And when I teach pattern cutting, I’m not just handing over a set of rules. I’m inviting people into a new way of seeing their bodies, their clothes, and their choices. I want people to feel confident enough to say:

• I can change this.

• I can make it fit me.

• I don’t have to accept what the fashion industry tells me to wear.

That empowerment ripples out. Students start asking more questions - about where their fabric comes from, about who made the clothes they used to buy, about whether things have to be done the way they’ve always been done.

And that’s when the spark of change ignites! 

Nicki talked about how negotiation isn’t about winning, it’s about understanding the other person’s perspective so well that you can find new possibilities together. I think the same is true of teaching. And now, of fashion.

What would happen if we stopped trying to “win” at business or “compete” in the marketplace, and instead, started building new and different systems where everyone felt heard and held? What might we create then?

A Future Stitched with Feeling

The future I’m working towards isn’t built on mass production or disposable trends. It’s not about chasing the next launch or going viral on TikTok.

It’s slower. Deeper. More human.

It’s about sitting in a room with a grower who understands the land, a spinner who knows the strength of each fibre, a dyer who works with plants from the hedgerows, and a maker who can turn all of that into something that fits a body both beautifully and comfortably.

It’s about shared stories and shared value. Not extractive systems, but regenerative ones. Not isolated silos, but interdependence.

And crucially - it’s about how we make each other feel.

I want the students I teach, the customers I support, and the collaborators I work with to feel empowered, connected, and inspired. I want them to know that their voice matters. That they have a place in the circle. That what they bring, whether it’s skills, questions, or simply curiosity,  is valuable.

A Final Thread

Maya Angelou’s words aren’t just beautiful - they’re instructive.

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Nicki Perfect reminded us that listening deeply, with curiosity and compassion, is one of the most powerful tools we have. Whether we’re running a business, parenting our kids, or building a fashion system from the soil up, it starts with presence.

So as I move forward,  as a teacher, a maker, and (hopefully) a change-maker,  I’m holding that close.

Let us be the ones who make people feel seen.
Let us listen first.
Let us stitch something better together.

If this resonates with you…
I'd love to hear your thoughts, especially if you're someone who grows, dyes, spins, sews, or simply wants to be part of a different kind of fashion story. Get in touch - let’s start a conversation. The future is something we get to shape together.

Love Jules x