Recently I caught up with a friend that I hadn’t seen for over 12 years. She looked amazing - not because she’d lost weight or anything. She just had this glow of confidence about her. We got to chatting and I discovered that she and her relatively new partner had become naturist campers. Yes - I know - one of those people that wander about outdoors with no clothes on!
I was slightly taken aback I have to admit, but she explained that once you get past the fact that nobody is wearing clothes, it frees you from all your own self consciousness. There is almost comfort in the fact that no one has a “perfect body”. Everyone has their own lumps and bumps. To be honest - fairplay to her!
Her ability to walk about with no clothes on her has weirdly given her more confidence when she does wear clothes. Obviously it’s not necessarily a solution for everyone, but it did remind me of the quote from Diane von Fürstenberg.
“Confidence. If you have it, you can make anything look good.”
— Diane von Fürstenberg
It’s one of those quotes that sounds simple at first - almost like it belongs on a glossy fashion page - but it sticks with you. Because deep down, most of us know the truth in it. Confidence is what makes something look good. Not just clothes, but the way we carry ourselves. The way we move through the world. The way we show up.
And yet confidence, for so many of us, is the thing we quietly struggle with. Especially as we get older. Things shift. They soften. Bits sag or spread or end up not quite where they used to be. We notice changes like the lines, the lumps, the wobble that wasn’t there before. And all of a sudden we can feel like strangers in our own skin. I know I’ve felt this as I head into my middle years.
Your Body Is Not a Problem to Solve
Maybe that’s because we’ve been taught to look at our bodies like they’re problems to fix, instead of incredible things that carry us through life. We worry about muffin tops and not being able to touch our toes, when really - who cares? Your body is your home. It’s the only one you’ve got. It holds your laughter and your sorrow, your memories and your milestones. It gets you from A to B, lets you hug the people you love, create the things that bring you joy, and feel the world around you.
So why do we let the size of our waistlines dictate our worth?
Confidence Comes From Acceptance, Not Perfection
We are so often told - overtly or quietly - that confidence comes when you look a certain way. But I think it’s the other way around. Confidence doesn’t come when you become “perfect.” It comes when you stop trying to be. It comes when you decide that who you are, right now, is enough.
And it really has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. Confidence blooms the moment we stop asking the world for permission to feel good in our own skin. It comes when we start dressing for ourselves - not for approval, or comparison, or to meet some made-up standard. It’s about standing in front of the mirror and saying, “This is me. This is what I look like. And I’m okay with that.” But let’s face it - this can be hard to do sometimes.
What We Wear Matters More Than We Think
Of course, clothes can help. They’re not the whole story, but they’re a powerful part of it. The right garment; one that fits well, feels good, and expresses who you are, can completely change how you move through the day. I see it all the time in workshops: someone slips into a toile that actually fits their body, and suddenly they’re standing taller. There’s a spark in their eyes. A little grin. A shift from “I don’t know if I can” to “Oh… I might be able to.”
It’s not about hiding so-called flaws or trying to fake a shape. It’s about wearing things that make you feel like you. Clothes that fit your life and your body as it is today, not ten years ago, not ten pounds ago, not after you’ve toned up or trimmed down or done whatever the world says you “should.”
Because here’s the thing: no one is really paying that much attention to your tummy, or your thighs, or whether you wore the “right” silhouette. People notice how you make them feel. They notice the energy you bring, the warmth in your eyes, the joy in your laugh. They notice when you’re at ease. When you’re comfortable in your own skin, it shows - and that’s what makes you glow. It goes back to a journal post I wrote about the Quiet Power of Feeling Heard and the quote from Maya Angelou - “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
We Are Allowed to Take Up Space
I’m not saying confidence is easy. We all have days where we pull at our clothes or wish something sat differently. But confidence doesn’t mean loving every single part of yourself all the time. It just means choosing to be kind to yourself regardless. It means not letting the critical voice win. It means showing up - to work, to life, to dinner with friends - even when you don’t feel your most polished.
It means wearing the goddamn dress anyway.
And if you make your own clothes, you’ve got a secret weapon. You get to shape your wardrobe around your real, wonderful, changing body. You get to step off the rack and say, “Actually, I’ll decide what fits me.” That’s powerful. That’s liberating. That’s a quiet rebellion in a world that constantly tries to squeeze us into something smaller, tighter, more contained.
We Already Have Everything We Need
Confidence, as Diane von Fürstenberg said, really can make anything look good. But it’s not a magic switch. It grows when we stop measuring ourselves against other people, or against some past version of ourselves. It grows when we focus less on shrinking and more on showing up. When we move toward what makes us feel alive, rather than what makes us feel approved of.
And perhaps the best part? We don’t need anyone else’s permission. We can decide - right now - to wear the thing, take the photo, sign up for the workshop, step into the room.
We are not a ‘before’ picture. We are not an unfinished project. We are allowed to take up space. To feel beautiful. To love what we see in the mirror. To make clothes that fit the bodies we have today, and to wear them like armour and art and celebration.
And no, we don’t need to look a certain way to earn that. We already have.
Confidence doesn’t come from fitting in - it comes from fitting ourselves. And when we do, we really can make anything look good.
Jules x